Inspired by a TikTok creator, I decided to document my list of desires for 2023. I realize that we cannot make demands of God, but we can certainly petition Him. And I’m doing just that.
It will be awesome to look back at the end of 2023 and see how God worked in my life. What He provided and what He said No to or maybe, not yet, or maybe…this is better! I know from my years of living that His plans are always better than mine and often outside my greatest imagination.
My list of heart desires for 2023 (in no particular order)
Teach me to trust and lean in like Paul. No matter the circumstances Paul rejoiced, he spoke of God’s goodness, and he was content. From 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 God said “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” And then Paul’s inspired response, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (Biana Olthoff has a great talk on Contentment that inspired this selection for my list.)
As a Type A personality, a strong, independent woman and single mom, who is used to being in control, leaning and trusting anyone else is incredibly hard. I have learned through a roller coaster of experience to rely solely on myself. I mean, I know God has had His hand on my life, but I certainly haven’t ever been content and waited. I’m a bit more like a bull in a china shop, if you know what I mean. This year, I will seek to trust Him in and for everything and be content, no matter the circumstances.
The last 6 months of 2022 rocked me to my core. Everything I had built my identity has been stripped away, quite unceremoniously, and I have been left flailing with no sense of direction or ability to make decisions. (Completely out of character for me.) But I suppose my long known personality flaw of needing a frying pan to my head to get my attention has been recognized by my Creator, and He has definitely gotten my attention.
So I am sitting here, palms up, on my knees, praying for clarity and direction in all areas of my life. And I am so ready to be lead down whatever path He directs me on.
I am at a phase in life that no one ever warned me about. I didn’t even realize it would be a thing. But this year, I become an empty nester. After 19 years of being MOM first, that role has been regulated to a back burner as all my chicks will have left the nest. Two biological kids, three adopted kids, and eleven foster kids later…and here I am with no sense of purpose for my life.
It is a very empty feeling. Who am I if I’m not taking care of and providing for someone else? I truly have no idea.
Romans 8:28 (emphasis added) tells us that “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are calling according to His purpose for them.” I am ready to realize what His purpose for my life going forward is to be. Because what I’ve got, definitely can not be it.
Ready for what’s next
I am here. I am waiting. And I am going to trust, or at least work really hard on trusting His timing and His plan. I cannot promise not to try to grab the reigns of my life again and again, but I commit to daily laying it at His feet and seeking His guidance.
Here’s to an amazing 2023. I cannot wait to look back and see how God works in me and through me! I’m ready!