I have been feeling like there is something else for me recently. Some other calling on my life.

In reality, as my baby gets his driver’s license and becomes more independent, I have been feeling a bit lost. And maybe like this was it, the need for me was over. I could settle in and just age, let the world pass me by.

After mothering for 17 years now, growing and launching five kids, I thought my purpose was done. But maybe I’m wrong. So I am seeking and doing it in a different way.

Listening for God

What does God want from me now? What adventure does He have in store?

But while the nudge is there. And the longing to feel a purpose, the silence has been a bit deafening.

I’m just not one of those people who sit for hours and talk to God. My mind goes elsewhere, my body says “there’s things to do.” And as strong as I would say my faith is, I still ponder “how do you love something/someone you can’t see, feel or touch?” I know the Bible is supposed to let us learn and know God. But this is hard for me.

So this will be my place of contemplation and meditation. This is where I will write what I’m thinking, couching it in my devotion time and praying that this method of speaking or praying to God works because I can tell you from years of off and on devotions, book reading, church attending, I don’t really feel like I know God.

I know of Him. I believe the Bible is true. I believe I am saved and going to heaven. But I have a hard time “feeling” the faith, feeling the love and fear of God. And more importantly now, feeling what his purpose is on my life.

Today’s Devotion

Blackaby, Henry T., Blackaby, Richard. (1998) Experiencing God Day-by-Day

July 13th – Godly Sorrow

I love this author’s writing. It just gets right to the heart of the message and is always so clear to me. In this devotional the author points out that all sorrow can be very heartfelt as well as very motivating. But there are really two types of sorrow, earthly sorrow and godly sorrow.

Judas felt such sorrow at his actions of turning in Jesus that he killed himself. We certainly see alot of that these days. We always hear that it’s because of bullying or some external force, but perhaps we need to look a little deeper and see how we are teaching people to deal with their own sorrow. This is earthly sorrow and leads to destruction.

On the other hand, Peter’s disappointment and sorrow in himself when he betrayed Jesus invigorated him. Peter sought out Jesus to repent and apologize and then he moved on. He did not wallow on it. In fact, it was so motivating that he never committed that sin again…even when faced with persecution, bullying and many trials and hardships. This is godly sorrow and leads to life.

Two very different reactions to sorrow, to sin.

The Action

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you God’s view of your character.